VOL. I · NO. 8606WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Clean Elections tells court it must investigate Green Party fraud claims

Filed 1h ago · Via Arizona Mirror · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Dvorak Polka
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: President (2001–2009: Bush). Office of Management and Admini · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

The Arizona Citizens Clean Election Commission has told a Maricopa County court that its investigation into whether Green Party candidates Risa Lombardo and Duwayne Collier falsely qualified for public campaign funds is exactly the job state law gives it, and asked the judge to toss the candidates' lawsuit. Lombardo and Collier, running for governor and secretary of state, sued after the commission and the Arizona Attorney General began investigating whether they and Republican Scott Neely falsified small-dollar donations to unlock a combined $4.7 million in public funding.

At least six voters told the Arizona Mirror they had no idea why records showed them making $5 contributions to the candidates. The commission's attorneys argue that accepting public money means accepting its oversight rules, and that the candidates raised no objection to those rules until they became investigation targets.

The candidates' attorney, Tim La Sota, calls the accusations 'nothingburgers' and says the commission is trying to bully his clients out of the race by warning them not to spend money that might later have to be repaid, with a plan to wrap up the probe just before the election. The commission counters that the candidates remain free to spend the funds, at their own risk.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Taking public money to run for office and then crying foul when the public asks for the receipts is a neat trick if you can pull it off. Six people saying they never gave a nickel is not exactly a conspiracy theory, it is a phone call away from being checked. If the paperwork is clean, the investigation ends and everybody goes back to campaigning, but suing to stop the question from being asked looks a lot like knowing the answer already.
Source: Read the original at Arizona Mirror → Scored: Dvorak Polka · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky