VOL. I · NO. 8605TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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COURTS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Ninth Circuit affirms conviction of man who stole identity of dead child

Filed 3h ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
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Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Paul Colin Hennig firstdorsal.eu · CC BY-SA 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

The Ninth Circuit affirmed the conviction of Walter Glenn Primrose, who lived under the identity of a deceased infant, Bobby Edward Fort, for over three decades before being convicted in 2023 of identity theft, passport fraud and conspiracy. Primrose argued that decades of use had effectively transferred the child's identity to him, borrowing the property-law concept of adverse possession.

The panel rejected that theory outright, writing that no length of use lets a person adversely possess another's identity, since identity is inseparable from personhood. Primrose was also convicted alongside his wife, who lived under a separate assumed name, and both received 34-month sentences.

The case initially drew scrutiny as a possible Russian espionage matter after investigators found Soviet-era uniforms and coded documents in the couple's home, though prosecutors dropped that angle before trial, and the sentencing judge separately rejected the couple's request to legally change their names to the identities they'd used for 30 years.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Living under somebody else's name for thirty years apparently gets you a Coast Guard pension and a security clearance, but it does not get you a legal identity. A court had to spell out, in fourteen pages, that you can't squat your way into being a different person, which tells you something about how hard this case tried to argue otherwise. The dead infant whose name got borrowed doesn't get a say in any of it.
Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Funky Boxstep · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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