VOL. I · NO. 8618MONDAY, OCTOBER 5, 20265¢
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

American businesses added just 29K new jobs in September as hiring slumps

Filed 8h ago · Via Arizona Mirror · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Reign Supreme
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Unknown authorUnknown author printed by Strobridge Lithograp · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

The U.S. added just 29,000 jobs in September, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported, while August's number was revised down from 162,000 to 133,000 and July was revised from a gain of 21,000 to an outright loss of 10,000. Unemployment ticked up to 4.2 percent, with Black unemployment jumping a full point to 7 percent.

Average hourly earnings rose 3 percent, falling short of 3.4 percent inflation, meaning workers lost ground. Economist Kathryn Anne Edwards called the report 'textbook weak.'

National Economic Council director Kevin Hassett told Fox News the rising unemployment rate actually reflects people rushing back into a 'strong labor market' hoping to cash in; the labor force did grow by 485,000 in September, though it remains a million below last year's level.

Health care job growth slowed to 16,700 amid hospital layoffs in Vermont and New Hampshire, government jobs fell 17,000, and the freight sector kept shedding warehousing jobs even as trucking posted a small gain.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
When the numbers go soft, somebody always shows up to explain that soft is actually the new strong. A fellow loses his job and gets told it's because the labor market is so good he decided to go looking for one; try that line on him at home and see how far it gets. The report speaks plainly enough on its own, it just needed a government spokesman to muddy it up a little for the cameras.
Source: Read the original at Arizona Mirror → Scored: Reign Supreme · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky