VOL. I · NO. 8611MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 20265¢
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

Trump thwarted in hunt for rare noncitizen voters as midterms near

Filed 1h ago · Via Stateline · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Vanishing
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Presidio of Monterey · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

The Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that states can use Homeland Security's SAVE system to check voter citizenship, but the decision lands during the federal 90-day quiet period that bars most mass voter roll purges before an election. That leaves election officials able to check only individual names, not run the sweeping scans Homeland Security has advertised.

Even the court's conservative majority acknowledged the ruling's 'limited immediate impact,' while Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson's dissent argued that disenfranchising even a few lawful voters outweighs any government interest in speed. A separate district court judge on Monday also blocked the administration's attempt to tie SAVE use to FEMA disaster grants, ruling the agency overstepped its authority.

Critics, including the Center for Democracy and Technology, say SAVE relies on outdated data prone to false matches, citing Texas cases where naturalized citizens' registrations were threatened over bad Social Security records. The White House, meanwhile, blamed Democrats for not passing a bill requiring proof-of-citizenship documents, a measure that remains stalled in the Senate.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
You spend months fighting to the Supreme Court for a tool, win, and then the calendar tells you to sit on your hands for the one election that matters. That is what happens here, and everybody in the story, even the winning side's own justices, admits it. The bigger fight is clearly the one in December, and this round was mostly about who gets to look tough before then.
Source: Read the original at Stateline → Scored: Vanishing · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky