VOL. I · NO. 8585WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WORLD ABSURDITY:

The deputy commander of the Russian Volunteer Corps, which fights for Ukraine, was either abducted or detained in Kyiv. The incident ended in a shootout between Ukraine’s security services.

Filed 37m ago · Via Meduza · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Evil Plan
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Joop van Bilsen for Anefo · CC0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Ukraine's SBU says it and military intelligence foiled an FSB-organized terrorist attack targeting an unnamed 'Russian opposition' figure, while separately confirming that officers exchanged gunfire with a 'group of people' in Kyiv who turned out to belong to a Ukrainian defense unit. Sources identify the target as Stepan Kaplunov, deputy commander of the Russian Volunteer Corps, whose own unit says he was abducted from outside his home days earlier with no official explanation from any agency.

Competing accounts multiply from there: one security source claims HUR and SBU units nearly resolved the standoff peacefully before a second SBU group arrived and reignited the shootout, allegedly over control of protection rackets for fraud call centers. Kaplunov himself has been described as a Ukrainian nationalist by CNN and as a neo-Nazi by Russian state media and an independent Telegram outlet, leaving the reader with a wounded detainee, contradictory agency statements, and no confirmed narrative.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

Source: Read the original at Meduza → Scored: Evil Plan · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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