VOL. I · NO. 8600THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WORLD ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

EU And Canada Are Stronger Together, Mark Carney Says After Trump Derides Alliance

Filed 1h ago · Via HuffPost · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Barroom Ballet
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: PMO Barbados from Bridgetown, Barbados · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney told the European Parliament that Canada and Europe should deepen ties to protect their markets and democracies, after European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen floated making Canada an ‘associate member’ of the EU. Carney stopped short of using that term but said he appreciated the ambition behind it, while listing critical minerals, defense industry, AI, energy security and space as areas for closer cooperation.

The remarks came hours after President Trump threatened ‘very serious tariffs’ or a trade halt with Europe if the EU proposal turned out to be a ‘hostile act,’ calling the idea ‘laughable’ while also saying he'd have no objection if the intention was good. The European Commission's spokesperson insisted the plan is not aimed against anyone.

France's Europe Minister Benjamin Haddad separately said the United States has no say in the EU's geopolitical choices. Carney, for his part, said no one would dictate what language Canadians speak or with whom they strike international agreements.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Trump calls a still-unwritten proposal ‘laughable’ and threatens tariffs over it in the same breath, which is a bit like getting mad at a barn that hasn't been built yet. Carney's line about not wanting to be a great power rival ‘with better manners’ got a laugh in Strasbourg, and it earned one. When the loudest reaction to an idea is a tariff threat before anyone's even drafted the paperwork, that tells you more about the threatener's nerves than the idea's ambitions.
Source: Read the original at HuffPost → Scored: Barroom Ballet · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky