VOL. I · NO. 8586THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WORLD ABSURDITY:

Kyiv street blocked after shooting amid unconfirmed reports of Security Service clash

Filed 1d ago · Via NV · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Five Card Shuffle
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Walter Baxter · CC BY-SA 2.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Kyiv police closed Yuriia Shumskoho Street in the Dniprovskyi district on September 2 after reports of a shooting, with sources telling Ukrainska Pravda that representatives of Ukraine's Defense Intelligence and Security Service were involved. The incident is reportedly linked to the disappearance of Stepan Kaplunov, a deputy commander in the Russian Volunteer Corps unit within Defense Intelligence.

Three Defense Intelligence representatives were reportedly wounded, and the standoff was continuing as of Wednesday morning. Kyiv's city administration confirmed bus routes were being diverted around the closure, though official confirmation of who was involved and why has not caught up with the traffic detours.

The same morning, Ukraine's Security Service and Defense Intelligence said they had foiled a Russian FSB assassination attempt against a Russian opposition figure visiting Kyiv for Independence Day, an announcement that has not been directly tied to the street shooting.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

Source: Read the original at NV → Scored: Five Card Shuffle · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire