VOL. I · NO. 8563TUESDAY, AUGUST 11, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
TARIFFS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Mars Bar from 1991 found – and it's 56% bigger than today's

Filed 2w ago · Via BBC · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
The Entertainer
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

A cleaning contractor in Scunthorpe found a Mars Bar with a 1991 best-before date while clearing a hoarder's house, weighing 62.5g compared to today's 40g bar.

Victoria Gordon, who runs Pocket Rockets, posted photos comparing the vintage bar to a modern one and the post went viral, with Gordon joking she might take it on a UK tour.

Mars said it has made 'a number of updates' to bar sizes over 35 years, citing consumer demand, manufacturing costs and cocoa prices.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A company blaming shrinking bars on 'external factors' while never citing an external factor that made a bar bigger is not a coincidence, it's a business model. The word 'shrinkflation' exists because consumers noticed what companies hoped they wouldn't. Turns out all it took to prove it was a hoarder's house and a very observant cleaner.
Source: Read the original at BBC → Scored: The Entertainer · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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