VOL. I · NO. 8622FRIDAY, OCTOBER 9, 20265¢
The Daily Buffoon
ADVERTISEMENT
WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

University of West Florida orders dorms evacuated on less than a day’s notice

Filed 1h ago · Via Florida Phoenix · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Bad Ideas (clean)
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: HatschiKa · CC BY-SA 4.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

As Hurricane Isaias bore down on the Florida Panhandle, the University of West Florida emailed its roughly 1,500 dorm residents after 8 p.m. telling them campus would close by 7 p.m. the next day. Students were told to unplug appliances, and those with nowhere else to go had a one-hour window the following morning to enter a 'shelter of last resort' that explicitly was not a traditional shelter, with basic and potentially uncomfortable conditions and a strict no-return policy if you left.

Twenty-eight students ended up in that shelter; the university did not let a reporter inside to speak with them. Parents on social media criticized the short notice, and a local church, Olive Baptist, organized members to take in students who had nowhere else to turn, alongside informal arrangements among students' own families.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A university that houses fifteen hundred students in a hurricane zone gave them less than a day and a one-hour window to find shelter, then called the fallback option an 'emergency safety' arrangement rather than admit it was thin planning. It took a church passing a list around Facebook to actually get kids a bed. When the backup plan for your backup plan is a congregation's spare rooms, the institution did not do its job, the neighbors did.
Source: Read the original at Florida Phoenix → Scored: Bad Ideas (clean) · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
MORE FROM THE DESK
WHITE HOUSE Presidential Message on Leif Erikson Day · via White House
THE EDITION OF FRIDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2026 → · THE ARCHIVE
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
OR FOLLOW THE DESK ON BLUESKY →
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Archive · Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire · Bluesky