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WHITE HOUSE✒ EDITORIALABSURDITY:
President Posts Unspecified ‘This,’ Credits It With Record-Low Crime
Filed 1h ago · Via Truth Social · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Aunt Tagonist
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
The post, verbatim · Truth Social
✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A demonstrative pronoun is not a crime policy. The post points at something, declares it responsible for a national statistic, and offers no number, no source and no mechanism beyond the mood of a locked door. The verb ‘send’ is doing heavy lifting in a sentence where words like ‘trial’ and ‘conviction’ never appear, and capitalizing Killers does not make anyone one. Crime rates rise and fall for reasons researchers spend whole careers debating; the President has settled the question by signing his name under it, in all caps, in case anyone suspected a ghostwriter with restraint.