VOL. I · NO. 8587FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
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WHITE HOUSE ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY:

President Signs Own Post, In Third Person, To Confirm Authorship

Filed 1h ago · Via Truth Social · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Mary Celeste
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
The post, verbatim · Truth Social

The post appears on the President's own account and concludes with his name in capital letters, as though the preceding sentences might otherwise be misattributed. The desk confirms it is real, and that no one asked.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
The reasoning arrives in a tight circle: an assertion, the same assertion again for the slow learners in the back, and then a homemade diagnosis for anyone still unpersuaded. Observe the pronoun arrangement — losing belongs to all of us, winning belongs to one of us — which is a neat trick if you can get the country to sign for it. And note the closing flourish: a man notarizing his own social media post in capital letters and the third person, as if his account might otherwise be mistaken for someone else's.
Source: Read the original at Truth Social → Scored: Mary Celeste · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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