VOL. I · NO. 8583MONDAY, AUGUST 31, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
WHITE HOUSE ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

President Credits Poll Lead With Keeping Detroit Plant Open

Filed 1h ago · Via Truth Social · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Bushwick Tarantella Loop
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

The President says a Ford factory in Detroit was set to close, stayed open because he was leading in the polls, and now runs around the clock as one of the world's most profitable plants. He credits tariffs with reviving and indeed saving the American automobile business, then names Canada as one of the worst abusers and says he wants no Canadian cars, parts or anything at all.

No figures, dates or sources accompany any of it, and the mechanism by which a poll standing keeps an assembly line running is left unstated. The post also asserts that Canada wants to be treated like a state, an ambition the country has not been recorded as expressing, before concluding that it is entitled no longer.

Source: Read the original at Truth Social → Scored: Bushwick Tarantella Loop · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire