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THIS STORY IS SCORED

Maple Leaf Rag

Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

A man who asks who would possibly want their name on such a place has, in the same breath, signed his own in block capitals at the bottom. The denial is four sentences long and only one of them is the denial; the rest is a weather report of grievance, complete with the usual nicknames and diagnoses issued without a license. Note the structure: the alleged hoax is never described, merely branded, which is the rhetorical equivalent of shouting that the fire is out before anyone smells smoke. And the closing courtesy, thank you for your attention to this matter, lands like a receipt for a transaction nobody agreed to.