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THIS STORY IS SCORED

The Chase

Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

The nation's chief executive has found time to file a complaint on behalf of his own property's facade, which he calls 'beautiful' in the same breath he insists it is spotless. The charge that a newspaper artificially painted mold onto a photograph arrives without the original photo, the alleged doctored version, or any explanation of how one would tell the difference. Presidents traditionally separate the duties of office from the upkeep of their businesses; this one has merged them into a single grievance about grout. If the mold is fake, the outrage is genuinely homegrown.

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