VOL. I · NO. 8580FRIDAY, AUGUST 28, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
COURTS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Trump loses longshot bid to transfer NYC hush money case to federal court

Filed 1h ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Lively Lumpsucker
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: via Wikimedia Commons · Public domain · via Wikimedia Commons

U.S. District Judge Alvin Hellerstein denied President Trump's motion to transfer his New York hush-money criminal case to federal court, finding he failed to show good cause. The move would have opened a path to the Second Circuit and potentially the Supreme Court, where Trump could invoke the 2024 presidential-immunity ruling.

A jury convicted Trump in 2024 of falsifying business records tied to a $130,000 payment to Stormy Daniels, arranged through Michael Cohen and disguised as legal fees, including checks signed from the Oval Office during his first term. Trump received an unconditional discharge from Justice Juan Merchan days before his second inauguration.

Cohen has since claimed he was 'compelled and coerced' by prosecutors, which Trump has cast as vindication; Cohen and Trump recently spoke publicly for the first time since their 2018 falling-out.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
Losing a jurisdictional gambit for what appears to be the fourth time is not a hail Mary, it's a pattern, and patterns tend to get less dramatic with repetition. The interesting part isn't that the motion failed — it's that it kept getting filed anyway, as though enough attempts might eventually wear down the calendar.
Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Lively Lumpsucker · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire