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THIS STORY IS SCORED

Olde Timey

Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0

It takes a special talent to turn a holiday greeting into an opposition-research memo, complete with the coinage ‘Dumocrats’ and a rampage through ‘almost all’ of the nation’s statues. The claim that the statues are back ‘more magnificent than ever’ is the kind of boast that is impossible to check and entirely unnecessary to make. And declaring this possibly the biggest day for the Country of Italy itself is a bold ruling from someone who is not Italian, not in Italy, and not consulted by its calendar. Congratulations, apparently, to everyone who was a prop.

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