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WHITE HOUSE✒ EDITORIALABSURDITY:
President Endorses Ohio Senate Hopeful, Cites Interceptions as Chief Qualification
Filed 1h ago · Via Truth Social · The Buffoon Desk
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Alexander Nakarada · creatorchords.com · CC BY 4.0
The post, verbatim · Truth Social
✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
The case for sending a man to the Senate here rests largely on catching footballs thrown by college opponents, a skill the Constitution oddly leaves off the job description. We learn that some games were deemed ‘unwinnable’ by an unnamed ‘they,’ the same anonymous chorus that has apparently been briefing the President since the dawn of capitalization. The promise that a politician ‘will never let you down’ is the kind of guarantee no warranty department would print, though it does pair nicely with the forecast that he will be even better at politics than at football, a sport whose box scores can at least be checked. The endorsement is ‘Complete and Total’ twice over, which suggests the first one was not quite complete or total enough.