VOL. I · NO. 8580FRIDAY, AUGUST 28, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
FACT CHECK ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

What We Know About Pennsylvania’s Two ‘Measles-Associated’ Deaths

Filed 1h ago · Via FactCheck.org · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
The Path of the Goblin King
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Rijksmuseum · CC0 · via Wikimedia Commons

Pennsylvania's health department announced two 'measles-associated' deaths in Lancaster County on Aug. 25, both unvaccinated residents, and called them the state's first measles-related deaths in 35 years. The Lancaster County coroner's office said it had no record of any measles deaths, though it knew of one infant who tested positive for measles and died of a ruptured spleen — a pathologist reportedly found measles was not the cause.

HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., already sparring with Gov. Josh Shapiro over MMR vaccine claims, seized on the discrepancy to suggest a Shapiro staffer may have 'fabricated' the deaths. Pennsylvania's health secretary insisted she'd reviewed the case files and stood by the announcement, while the department later clarified that 'measles-associated' can include deaths where measles wasn't the assessed immediate cause.

No information about the second death has been released, and the state has cited privacy concerns for withholding details. An outside expert noted the state and coroner may simply be answering different questions — but nobody in Harrisburg bothered to explain that before the vacuum filled itself with speculation.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
There is a special kind of institutional cowardice in announcing a milestone and then hiding behind privacy law when asked what it means; if a term needs a footnote to survive contact with a coroner, that footnote belonged in the first sentence, not in the cleanup release. A vacuum this predictable is not an accident of communication, it is a choice to be vague and hope nobody with a filing cabinet objects. And when the loudest available fact-checker is a cabinet secretary with a stake in the answer, the public loses twice — once to the mush, once to the man who feeds on it.
Source: Read the original at FactCheck.org → Scored: The Path of the Goblin King · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
ADVERTISEMENT
Read it scored.
Every story, every clown, every kazoo — in your pocket. Music plays automatically. Regret is optional.
GET IT ON iOS GET IT ON ANDROID
© 2026 The Daily Buffoon · Satire, scored. Privacy · Support · Music credits · On satire