VOL. I · NO. 8578WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 26, 2026
The Daily Buffoon
COURTS ✒ EDITORIAL ABSURDITY: 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Feds schedule Kratom derivatives as opioids

Filed 1h ago · Via Courthouse News · The Buffoon Desk
THIS STORY IS SCORED
Marty Gots a Plan
Kevin MacLeod · incompetech.com · CC BY 4.0
Photo: Jason Jacobs from Honolulu, USA · CC BY 2.0 · via Wikimedia Commons

The Justice Department announced a temporary ban on three concentrated kratom-derived opioids, including MGPI, a compound found up to 20 times stronger than morphine, while simultaneously telling industry it would not enforce the ban when the substance shows up in 'botanical' products at trace levels.

Attorney General Todd Blanche framed the move as targeting manufactured concentrates rather than traditional kratom leaf, even as the announcement acknowledged MGPI's natural origins remain scientifically unsettled. Lobbyists for 'pure leaf' kratom celebrated the distinction publicly.

But a Texas wrongful-death lawsuit undercuts that tidy line: lab testing on products from OPMS, a major funder of the American Kratom Association, found MGPI present in supposedly pure leaf products, and the company's own expert called selling such a bag 'fraud.' The industry has since pivoted to arguing MGPI was natural all along, the same claim now being deployed to keep 7-OH off Schedule 1 as well.

The full dispatch is available from the source below.

✒ FROM THE EDITORIAL DESK
A ban that comes pre-installed with an exemption for the exact channel where the substance actually turns up is not a ban; it is a press release with a compliance department attached. The tell is that everyone in the industry applauded — nobody throws a party for the guy who just outlawed their product. When the regulator and the regulated agree on where the line goes, the line was drawn by the wrong hand.
Source: Read the original at Courthouse News → Scored: Marty Gots a Plan · Kevin MacLeod · CC BY 4.0
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