VOL. I · NO. 8583MONDAY, AUGUST 31, 20265¢

THE EDITION

Monday, August 31, 2026

117 stories filed by the Buffoon Desk.

COURTS Man sentenced over fake Nancy Guthrie ransom · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE MAGA Ridiculously Pounces On NY Governor For What She Wore · via HuffPost

WORLD Russia damages Nova Post terminal in Odesa Oblast · via NV

CULTURE Best Internet Providers In Los Angeles, CA · via Forbes

WORLD China’s Xi gets his moment at meeting of anti-US bloc · via Newsweek

COURTS Canadian couple can proceed with due process claims after husband’s wrongful US arrest · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Fact Sheet: President Donald J. Trump Announces Historic Oil Agreement to Secure American Energy Dominance and Drive Venezuela’s Economic Recovery · via White House

COURTS Tribal group sues NFL legend over multimillion-dollar fraud scheme · via Courthouse News

COURTS EPA sued over approval of ‘forever chemical’ pesticide · via Courthouse News

COURTS Who is the working class? Depends on who you ask · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE No recommendations on autism care as task force completes second meeting · via Florida Phoenix

WORLD Can Scandals Influence Midterm Elections? · via Foreign Policy

CULTURE This Eye Balm 'Is Like Magic' For Fine Lines, Dark Circles And More · via HuffPost

COURTS Feds sued over logging project in Washington’s old-growth forests · via Courthouse News

COURTS Eric Adams’ deputy mayor takes swing at Mamdani over tax on second homes · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Prop. 317 would call drug cartels terrorists. Critics fear who else it could catch. · via Arizona Mirror

WORLD Reuters: Ukrainian attacks are pushing Russian grain out of the Black Sea and into the Baltic · via Meduza

WORLD Growing Indigenous food trees in East Africa fights malnutrition and biodiversity loss · via Mongabay

COURTS Rio closes Copacabana small claims court after 30 years · via Courthouse News

COURTS Jury begins deliberations in Tupac Shakur murder trial · via Courthouse News

COURTS Weapon smuggler’s sentence upheld · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Sheriffs drop license plate readers as DeSantis warns against ‘surveillance state’ · via Florida Phoenix

COURTS AI hallucinations derail debate over Mississippi’s DEI ban in schools · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Vance attacks El-Sayed at Michigan GOP rally without mentioning trade war with Canada · via Michigan Advance

WHITE HOUSE Florida Developmental Disabilities Council executive director steps down · via Florida Phoenix

WHITE HOUSE Feds and 22 states sue Amazon, alleging deceptive advertising scheme · via Stateline

COURTS 10th Circuit affirms dismissal of attorney’s challenge against Utah State Bar lobbying · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Fact Sheet: Delivering a Universal Sign-on for Public Services · via White House

COURTS 10th Circuit affirms dismissal of Mormon church tithing fraud class action as too late · via Courthouse News

COURTS Washington tribe reels in another chance to expand fishing territory · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Judge calls Trump mail ballot rule ‘substantively unconstitutional’ as court battle extends · via Arizona Mirror

WORLD Is Russia’s fuel crisis a temporary squeeze or the collapse of an industry? Two leading economists debated the question, unable to agree on how much refining capacity is left. · via Meduza

WORLD Gulf of Mexico’s unique Orca Basin shouldn’t become a carbon dump (commentary) · via Mongabay

COURTS FTC, 22 states sue Amazon over advertising surcharges · via Courthouse News

CULTURE Floods in Nepal-Tibet disrupt pilgrimage to Mount Kailash, a sacred mountain with centuries of evolving tradition · via The Conversation

FACT CHECK Trump Claims Credit for Drug Price Decline. Experts Say It’s More Complicated. · via FactCheck.org

WORLD Coastal Texas and Louisiana warned of tropical storm as a potential hurricane moves toward Hawaii · via Mongabay

COURTS Two dead, others still missing after Grand Canyon floods · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Putting death row in the rear view mirror: Debra Milke finds her purpose as a ‘survivor’ · via Arizona Mirror

WHITE HOUSE Federal judge pauses case on mifepristone access until after midterm elections · via Stateline

WORLD Indigenous rangers pull killer ‘ghost nets’ from Australia’s northern coast · via Mongabay

COURTS Supreme Court lets White House ballroom move full steam ahead · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Fact Sheet: President Donald J. Trump Announces Deal with Nine Additional Pharmaceutical Manufacturers to Lower Drug Prices for Americans · via White House

WORLD Nigeria’s Dambe is evolving. Its communities should not be left behind · via Global Voices

COURTS SCOTUS pulled into Michigan ballot fight over proof-of-citizenship amendment · via Courthouse News

COURTS Texas abortion funds ask federal panel to prevent prosecutions · via Courthouse News

COURTS Male drivers hit dead end in discrimination suits against Uber, Lyft · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Kris Mayes targets AI data centers as Arizona faces water, power crunch · via Arizona Mirror

WHITE HOUSE LGBTQ+ adults more likely to miss or forgo healthcare, survey finds · via Stateline

WORLD Putin’s Arctic wildlife metaphor for the invasion of Ukraine appears to come from AI slop, a zoologist says — orcas attacking polar bears is a staple of fake clips flooding social media · via Meduza

COURTS Far right sprints to verge of power in German postwar first · via Courthouse News

COURTS Spanish PM rules out Moroccan responsibility in migrant surge · via Courthouse News

COURTS Republicans bring TV ad rate war to Supreme Court · via Courthouse News

WORLD Fire hits drone-parts plant of Polish firm arming Ukraine. Arson not ruled out. · via Meduza

WORLD U.S. Treasury Secretary Bessent and Russian Finance Minister Siluanov met at the G20 to talk about ending the war in Ukraine. Sources say they also talked about doing business again. · via Meduza

WHITE HOUSE As food recalls mount, experts warn Trump has hollowed out America’s food safety system · via Arizona Mirror

WHITE HOUSE Judge rules Justice Department can force-feed defendant in National Guard shooting · via Florida Phoenix

WORLD For the fourth time since ordering the full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Putin has expanded his protective service’s central staff · via Meduza

WORLD Singapore spending billions to adapt to climate change, but deforestation continues · via Mongabay

WHITE HOUSE President Trump and VP Vance Deliver Manufacturing Renaissance to Michigan · via White House

COURTS Turkey says regional defense pact not against any country · via Courthouse News

COURTS Putin, Xi hold talks in Kyrgyzstan as regional summit begins · via Courthouse News

COURTS South Korea court gives Unification Church leader 2 years in prison · via Courthouse News

WORLD Russia is striking Ukraine’s food warehouses. Empty supermarket shelves are becoming more common. · via Meduza

COURTS India insists business as usual after violating water treaty with Pakistan · via Courthouse News

WORLD Modi to Putin: ‘We need end of war, not endless war’ · via Meduza

COURTS Japan seeks record $55.6 billion defense budget, with AI focus · via Courthouse News

WORLD Deaf teenager reportedly killed in Ukrainian missile strike on Ozon warehouse in Russia’s Belgorod · via Meduza

WORLD Environmental crimes don’t stop at borders. Neither can the reporting · via Mongabay

COURTS ChatGPT becomes first AI chatbot to face tougher EU rules · via Courthouse News

WORLD Gold miners breach a crucial refuge for rescued Sumatran orangutans · via Mongabay

WORLD FT: SpaceX head Elon Musk willing to let Ukraine use Starlink to strike Russia · via Meduza

FACT CHECK Telecommunications: GSA Should Assess Agencies’ Effectiveness at Preventing Service Disruptions · via GAO

WORLD Ukrainian drones attack Russia’s Yekaterinburg. Three apartment buildings damaged, four people injured. · via Meduza

WORLD Scientists use satellites to track whale strandings in remote places from space · via Mongabay

FACT CHECK Broadband Deployment: Agencies Should Take Steps to Better Target Underserved Areas and Consider Sustainability · via GAO

WORLD Finnish court reduces Russian neo-Nazi Voislav Torden’s sentence in Ukraine war crimes case — 12.5 years instead of life · via Meduza

WORLD Superb fairywrens disappearing in Australia’s capital: Conserving insects could help save them · via Mongabay

CULTURE In Texas, ordinary Muslim religious practices are increasingly being treated as political threats · via The Conversation

CULTURE Yiddish’s ‘revival’ points to its resilience as a portable homeland – and a global reach, from Russia to Mexico to the US · via The Conversation

COURTS Fame by association · via Courthouse News

CULTURE How does ‘Salmonella’ contaminate everything under the sun? A food safety specialist explains how you can stop its spread · via The Conversation

CULTURE Worms navigate narrow paths faster than wide ones – these findings could inform robot design · via The Conversation

CULTURE What would you see if you had one eye on the back of your head and the other in the front? · via The Conversation

CULTURE Indictments against a top extremism researcher and the SPLC force a reckoning on research ethics – an extremism scholar reflects on the field’s challenges · via The Conversation

CULTURE Trust is a behavior, not a credential – and that explains the Rodgers-Fauci divide · via The Conversation

WHITE HOUSE Trump’s trade war with Canada is reckless, pointless and dangerous · via Michigan Advance

CULTURE Federal stimulus money bought new technology for Philly students, but many schools lost track of where items went · via The Conversation

WORLD Nepal floods: Reporter’s diary, August 27, 2026 · via Global Voices

WHITE HOUSE Democratic lawmakers introduce bills expanding health coverage for low-income Michiganders · via Michigan Advance

TARIFFS Further Ensuring Affordable Beef for the American Consumer · via Federal Register

CULTURE Proposed Medicaid Cuts Could Cost Maternal and Children’s Health Care Billions · via Daily Yonder

WORLD Manhattan’s flood walls are almost done. What will Mamdani do next? · via Grist

WORLD When ocean temperatures increase, so does child malnutrition on land · via Grist

WHITE HOUSE A summer of recalls exposes holes in the nation’s food safety net · via Stateline

WORLD Recording a rainforest before Indonesia’s new capital changes it · via Mongabay

WORLD The Economist: Putin fears ending the war without victory. ‘They will hang me,’ he reportedly told his inner circle. · via Meduza

WORLD ‘You can’t protect what you don’t know:’ Interview with marine scientist Loyiso Dunga · via Mongabay

WORLD Western officials fear Putin is preparing to escalate beyond Ukraine. Bild and The Telegraph outline possible Russian moves against NATO. · via Meduza

WORLD Palisa rules out U.S. ambassador post, citing military service during war · via NV

WORLD Estonian intelligence chief says Russia could collapse rapidly · via NV

WORLD Car bomb reportedly targets Dmitry Neelov, Ukraine war crimes suspect linked to Olenivka POW deaths, in occupied Donetsk · via Meduza

CULTURE Emi Martinez is a wally – but he might be Chelsea’s smartest summer buy · via The Telegraph

WORLD Ukraine has no plans to lower upper mobilization age limit to 55 · via NV

CULTURE 36 Multi-Talented Products That Honestly Deserve A Medal For Their Numerous Accomplishments · via HuffPost

WORLD Russian drone strikes Ukrposhta truck near Kramatorsk, destroying about 500 parcels · via NV

CULTURE I Have Worn Glasses Since Elementary School: Here Are A Few Things That Make It Easier · via HuffPost

WORLD Ukraine reaches winter gas storage target a month early, Shmyhal reports · via NV

WORLD Trump said a year ago that a summit with Putin and Zelensky was two weeks away. Moscow now says the three of them can meet only to finalize agreements that don’t yet exist. · via Meduza

CULTURE 'My Grip Isn’t What It Was And This Is My Go To': This Jar Opener Is An $8 Lifesaver · via HuffPost

WORLD Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Plant blackout lasts over a week, diesel fuel left for 10 days – IAEA · via NV

WORLD ‘Lost’ for 170 years, rare plant recorded in Sri Lanka · via Mongabay

WORLD How Croatian communities are taking on planned poultry slaughterhouses · via Global Voices

WHITE HOUSE Nixon’s ‘people-powered’ platform propels her to upset win · via Florida Phoenix

CULTURE 15 Beauty Products That Reviewers Say Work Almost Immediately · via HuffPost

WORLD Russia sets new deadline to capture all of Donbas · via NV

TARIFFS How AI Helps, Hurts China’s Job Market: Tang Min · via Forbes

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