VOL. I · NO. 8585WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 20265¢

THE EDITION

Wednesday, September 2, 2026

111 stories filed by the Buffoon Desk.

CULTURE 8 Hand Sanitizers That Are Worth Buying In Bulk And Don't Smell Like Cheap Alcohol · via HuffPost

WORLD Ukrainian military debunks Putin's claims of seizing Kharkiv Oblast village · via NV

CULTURE If The Toothbrush Is Your Pets Mortal Enemy, There Are Easier Ways To Clean Their Teeth · via HuffPost

WORLD Ukraine downs more than 80% of Russian Banderol munitions targeting Kyiv · via NV

WHITE HOUSE Maggie Haberman Reveals GOP Midterms Convention ‘Error’ That Trump’s Team Somehow Overlooked · via HuffPost

WORLD Israel captures Hamas internal security chief in Gaza · via NV

WORLD Indigenous plants offer Ghanaians an alternative to costly Western medicine · via Global Voices

WORLD Russian advances in Ukraine ground to a near-halt in August as casualties surged · via NV

WORLD Medvedev vows to strike Berlin after Leipzig drone incident · via NV

CULTURE Forget Brighton – plucky Hastings is the south’s most exciting seaside town · via The Telegraph

COURTS Former San Francisco real estate investor must face pandemic relief fraud claims · via Courthouse News

WORLD Ukrainian woman plays piano amid ruins of her bombed home · via NV

WORLD Iran Fires On Its Gulf Neighbors, Retaliating For U.S. Strikes After A Wedding Was Hit · via HuffPost

WORLD SBU says armed group attacked officers during searches linked to alleged FSB plot · via NV

CULTURE These Were The Most Popular Baby Names 25 Years Ago · via HuffPost

WORLD Pegasus turns planes around midflight, cancels Russia flights after Zelenskyy warning · via NV

TARIFFS You'll Gasp When You See How Much More You're Paying For School Supplies Because Of Trump's Tariffs · via HuffPost

COURTS Hawaii Supreme Court grapples with election tiebreaker · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE President Trump Secures the Biggest Oil Deal in World History · via White House

CULTURE ‘Parents Are Genuinely Worried To Give Their Kids A Banana’: The Huge Myth Convincing Parents To Restrict Fruit · via HuffPost

WHITE HOUSE Federal judge blocks Trump’s revised birthright citizenship order targeting ‘birth tourism’ · via Arizona Mirror

WORLD Lake Ontario Has Bigger Problems than Donald Trump | The Walrus · via The Walrus

WORLD Zelenskyy appoints Sviatoslav Zaiets commander of Ukraine’s Ground Forces · via NV

CULTURE Children Who Carry This 1 Burden For Their Parents End Up Significantly Disadvantaged Later In Life · via HuffPost

COURTS Patagonia, tribes and conservationists reopen suit to block Utah national monuments reduction · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE More states are putting panic alarms in schools · via Stateline

COURTS Google dodges antitrust breakup of ad tech business · via Courthouse News

COURTS Jan. 6 pipe bomb suspect urges judge to drop terrorism charge · via Courthouse News

COURTS Blue states sue Trump over Medicaid ban on trans youth treatments · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Why the rushed Postal Service plan for mail-in voting has states in a panic · via Michigan Advance

WHITE HOUSE Power for and by the people? St. Petersburg citizens launch campaign for municipal utilities · via Florida Phoenix

WORLD Michael Painter put Indigenous land rights at the center of conservation · via Mongabay

COURTS Idaho Supreme Court wades into tussle over abortion initiative ballot language · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE G20 Innovation Ministerial Concludes with Consensus Statement · via White House

COURTS Small-town resident urges Denver judge to halt abandonment of Hartman · via Courthouse News

COURTS State trial date set for Vance Boelter as he pleads not guilty after federal sentence · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE DeSantis takes victory lap with Donalds and presses him to continue his policies · via Florida Phoenix

COURTS Conservative gambit to lock Supreme Court at nine justices falters in House · via Courthouse News

COURTS Fifth Circuit urged to shoot down restriction on interstate handgun purchases · via Courthouse News

COURTS Investors sue Hims & Hers after FTC lawsuit plummets stock price · via Courthouse News

COURTS Fifth Circuit questions Baton Rouge’s ejection of public speakers · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE After Tucson’s deadly attack at a gay bar, Gov. Katie Hobbs was slow to speak publicly · via Arizona Mirror

WHITE HOUSE Voting groups file federal challenge against Florida’s ‘SAVE’ Act · via Florida Phoenix

WORLD Indigenous ‘turtle women’ help vulnerable reptiles recover in Ecuadorian Amazon · via Mongabay

COURTS Arizona physicians unionize at Banner Health · via Courthouse News

CULTURE Yosemite, again in corporate crosshairs, embodies the long war over US national park privatization · via The Conversation

COURTS Minnesota justices drill mining company over quarry expansion near sacred site · via Courthouse News

COURTS Melting glaciers an ‘immediate’ climate risk: Author of UN report · via Courthouse News

COURTS Microsoft Edge keeps its front-row seat on Windows without EU gatekeeper label · via Courthouse News

COURTS Israel ready to remove Gaza population if US gives approval: Minister · via Courthouse News

COURTS NCAA loses bid to block Missouri football player from competing · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Seizures, chest pain and long holds at a Phoenix ICE facility flying under the radar · via Arizona Mirror

WHITE HOUSE State of Michigan responds to Americans for Citizen Voting appeal to US Supreme Court · via Michigan Advance

COURTS France insists on sovereignty over islands claimed by Vanuatu · via Courthouse News

COURTS Two Russian suspects identified in Germany airport drone ‘hybrid attack’: Media · via Courthouse News

COURTS Hong Kong democracy activist Wong pleads guilty to foreign collusion · via Courthouse News

WORLD Invaders storm Indigenous Amazon land, threatening isolated people · via Mongabay

COURTS Jurors chosen for UK husband accused of drugging, raping wife with other men · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Presidential Message on National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month · via White House

WORLD Drought is deepening a health crisis among Peru’s recently contacted Indigenous Matsés · via Mongabay

WORLD Global warming will exceed limit, UN says in a report that maps path to get back below danger zone · via Mongabay

WORLD Philippines fast-tracks critical minerals, raising Indigenous, environmental concerns · via Mongabay

WHITE HOUSE Livingston County sheriff temporarily removes Flock cameras after repeated vandalism · via Michigan Advance

WORLD Nepal’s flood disaster puts its hydropower-first strategy, exports to the test · via Mongabay

WORLD The deputy commander of the Russian Volunteer Corps, which fights for Ukraine, was either abducted or detained in Kyiv. The incident ended in a shootout between Ukraine’s security services. · via Meduza

COURTS Ed Markey wards off Senate primary challenger in Massachusetts · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Ten Times Extreme Liberal Democrats in Congress Put Their Dangerous Agenda Ahead of the American People · via White House

WHITE HOUSE Two Florida Democrats join every Republican in Congress in voting to condemn socialism and the DSA · via Florida Phoenix

COURTS Judges snip challenge to EU climate plan before reaching the science · via Courthouse News

CULTURE Pyrograzing turns ordinary livestock into fire prevention heroes, so why isn’t it used on public lands more often? · via The Conversation

CULTURE Labor votes: Discontent will accompany blue‑collar voters to the polls in the midterms · via The Conversation

CULTURE Daejon Love case highlights online romance scams: Research reveals scammers’ tactics – and how to defend against them · via The Conversation

CULTURE Trump is proposing a US Space Academy – if created, it could blur the lines between NASA and the military · via The Conversation

WORLD Damselfish-assisted repair of wounded corals surprises scientists · via Mongabay

CULTURE Caterpillar twitches in an ultraquiet chamber are helping biologists understand how these insects hear without ears · via The Conversation

WORLD Rapid wetland loss and ‘real estate boom’ increasing flood risk in Lagos · via Mongabay

CULTURE Decades after 9/11, toxic dust and PTSD may be accelerating brain aging among first responders · via The Conversation

WORLD Displaced by a typhoon, Taiwan’s Bunun people fear for the future of their culture · via Mongabay

WORLD The race to document Indigenous knowledge to protect Philippines’ birds · via Mongabay

CULTURE A Viral Songwriting Challenge Shines a Spotlight on the Tradition of Hip Hop in West Virginia · via Daily Yonder

WHITE HOUSE Michiganders speak out on Consumers Energy’s proposed sale of 13 dams to private equity · via Michigan Advance

CULTURE The Largest Data Centers Planned in Rural Counties · via Daily Yonder

WHITE HOUSE As James pushes local control on data centers, past congressional votes sought to limit just that · via Michigan Advance

CULTURE New Study: Black Lung Disease Rate in Appalachia Is the Worst in 50 Years as Coal Miner Protections Stall · via Daily Yonder

WHITE HOUSE The ‘show-your-papers’ measure failed to reach the ballot. That’s good for Michigan’s newest voters · via Michigan Advance

WORLD Russia’s transport minister on Zelensky’s threats to make Russian airspace unsafe — ‘We’re preparing for this’ · via Meduza

CULTURE Multi-Million Dollar Gift Will Address Rural Healthcare Workforce in Alabama · via Daily Yonder

WORLD Gen Z is using ‘polyester’ as an insult. It’s actually a throwback. · via Grist

WHITE HOUSE Immigration activity is taking a toll on children’s health, doctors say · via Stateline

WORLD Defense Express calculates how many Patriot missiles €2B EU loan may buy · via NV

WHITE HOUSE Canadian PM Mark Carney Tells Trump Team To ‘Stop Throwing Shade’ In Blunt Takedown · via HuffPost

WORLD Russian forces strike Ukraine’s Odesa, damaging apartment building and injuring eight people · via Meduza

WORLD Putin threatens retaliation after Zelenskyy warns airlines Russian skies are increasingly unsafe · via NV

WHITE HOUSE Ted Cruz Makes Unexpected Confession About Trump’s Relentless ‘Lyin’ Ted’ Taunt · via HuffPost

WORLD Michigan invests $7.5M to find out if it’s sitting on a clean energy gold mine · via Grist

WORLD Ukraine’s SBU says it thwarted FSB plot to assassinate Russian opposition figure · via Meduza

WORLD Nepal’s Deadly Floods Put China and India on Edge · via Foreign Policy

WORLD Ukraine races to shield its power grid as Russia deploys faster, more lethal weapons · via NV

WHITE HOUSE ‘Whaaaaaaat????’: Critics Sound Alarm After ‘Terrifying’ JD Vance Moment · via HuffPost

WORLD Rivals Circle an Out-of-Touch Prabowo · via Foreign Policy

WORLD Is BRICS Losing Its Mojo? · via Foreign Policy

WORLD Andy Burnham blames Brexit for ‘low growth’ · via The Telegraph

TARIFFS Adjusting Imports of Unmanned Aircraft Systems and Unmanned Aircraft Systems Components Into the United States · via Federal Register

WORLD SAPO and NABU to probe sources of bail funds posted for top Ukrainian suspects · via NV

WORLD Ukraine air defenses down 199 targets, including 10 missiles and 187 drones · via NV

CULTURE Texas A&M QB Marcel Reed sends warning shot to Texas: ‘gonna have to pay’ · via Newsweek

WORLD Southeast Asia’s oak trees highly threatened as report warns of lack of protection · via Mongabay

WORLD Latvia blocks Russian and Belarusian clothing, books, toys and footwear · via NV

WORLD Ukraine's Cabinet fails to prepare 44 acts for EU funding · via NV

FACT CHECK VA Electronic Health Record Modernization: Actions Needed to Sustain Accelerated System Deployments · via GAO

WORLD Russian attack kills four in Boryspil and damages homes · via NV

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