VOL. I · NO. 8594FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 20265¢

THE EDITION

Friday, September 11, 2026

103 stories filed by the Buffoon Desk.

WHITE HOUSE ‘Actual Blasphemy’: Critics Stunned By ‘Repulsive’ Video At Trump Convention · via HuffPost

WHITE HOUSE Ted Cruz Makes Bizarre AI Prediction As Experts Sound The Alarm · via HuffPost

WHITE HOUSE Trump's Weird Convention Just Tied Every GOP Candidate To His Sagging Popularity · via HuffPost

WORLD Drone strike hits Russian oil refinery and Ozon warehouse in Saratov · via NV

WORLD Drones strike Russian military depots in occupied Donetsk Oblast · via NV

WORLD Volgograd hit by overnight missile strikes as large fires erupt across the city · via NV

WORLD New sensation of Pakistan cricket sets England 130 to win · via The Telegraph

WHITE HOUSE Jimmy Kimmel Spanks Trump With Humiliating ‘Diaper’ Punchline · via HuffPost

WORLD Ukraine and Canada plan to sign major Drone Deal at UN summit · via NV

WHITE HOUSE Karoline Leavitt Tees Up A ‘Harsh Truth’ At GOP Convention And It Immediately Backfires · via HuffPost

WHITE HOUSE Green Party candidates in fraud probe sue Clean Elections to block possible repayment · via Arizona Mirror

WORLD Russia launches 161 drones and missile at Ukraine; strikes hit Kyiv high-rise · via NV

WHITE HOUSE JD Vance’s Big Convention Dig At Democrats Goes Sideways Fast · via HuffPost

COURTS Jurors recalled in Maui doctor’s bid for new attempted murder trial · via Courthouse News

WORLD Putin’s ruling party increasingly resembles Soviet-style ideological machine · via NV

WHITE HOUSE Trump’s Eye-Popping Convention Boast Runs Straight Into A Wall Of Receipts · via HuffPost

WORLD Ukraine’s Defense Ministry has no concrete mobilization reform plan yet · via NV

WHITE HOUSE ‘I Approve’: James Talarico Ruthlessly Trolls Trump With 1 Biting Message · via HuffPost

WORLD Ituna/Itatá invasion escalates as Indigenous Land faces fires and illegal clearing · via Mongabay

COURTS Rapper Lil Durk found of murder-for-hire · via Courthouse News

COURTS Nonprofit challenges Illinois demographics-disclosure law for charities · via Courthouse News

COURTS Anti-abortion protester loses free speech fight against San Diego ordinance · via Courthouse News

COURTS California prison guards look to toss inmate death, desecration suit · via Courthouse News

COURTS Texas Supreme Court bars new Galveston County map for November elections · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE No crime, plenty of rot: Hobbs’ secrecy and GOP outrage could lead to deeper voter distrust · via Arizona Mirror

WHITE HOUSE Trump plan to limit mail voting hinders Democrats more than GOP, analysis finds · via Michigan Advance

WHITE HOUSE DeSantis administration misses legislative deadline gets more money for immigration anyway · via Florida Phoenix

COURTS Kavanaugh recalls 9/11 chaos, defends Bush’s war on terror · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Flight 93 crashed on his land. He remembers the heroes 25 years later. · via Florida Phoenix

WORLD America’s houseplants come at a steep price for greenhouse workers · via Grist

COURTS Interest rate hike likely as oil and inflation ding stocks · via Courthouse News

FACT CHECK FactChecking Day Two of the GOP Midterm Convention · via FactCheck.org

COURTS Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin challenges restrictive abortion laws in new suit · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Frustrations, remorse and pain surface on 25th anniversary of Sept. 11 attacks · via Stateline

WORLD Angolan communities return to seasonal migration amid severe drought · via Mongabay

CULTURE How anti-bribery laws apply to Trump’s promise of $5,000 payments if Republicans keep control of Congress · via The Conversation

WHITE HOUSE Congressional Bills H.R. 1276, H.R. 2069, H.R. 2196 and H.R. 5366 Signed into Law · via White House

COURTS Hong Kong sentences Tiananmen activists to between 5 and 7 years in prison · via Courthouse News

COURTS Fenced off: Thailand builds border wall after Cambodia clashes · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Mixed-status immigrant households expected to lose benefits under new public charge rule · via Stateline

COURTS Lowe’s hit with class action over collection of consumers’ voiceprints · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Your Weekly Michigan Political Brief · via Michigan Advance

WHITE HOUSE ‘You still live in my heart’: Families mark 9/11 attacks with stories, calls for justice · via Stateline

COURTS 25 years later, daffodil planting tradition honors 9/11 loss · via Courthouse News

COURTS Arizona sues L’Oréal for failing to disclose cancer risks associated with hair relaxers · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Line 5 opponents challenge state environmental department permits, calling them ‘legally deficient’ · via Michigan Advance

WHITE HOUSE Senate Democrats propose significant changes to Michigan’s automatic power outage credit · via Michigan Advance

COURTS Google prods UK tribunal to keep new EU rules out of old shopping fight · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Amid record heat, 24 Arizona prison units still lack air conditioning. A lawmaker has questions. · via Arizona Mirror

WHITE HOUSE Federal appeals court vacates Trump order extending operations for a west Michigan coal plant · via Michigan Advance

WHITE HOUSE University faculty in the South report culture of fear, doxxing, and threats · via Florida Phoenix

COURTS Paris court presses defendants over deadliest migrant Channel crossing on record · via Courthouse News

COURTS Scandinavia looks to export inmates amid tough-on-crime policies, prison overcrowding · via Courthouse News

COURTS More than guiding ships, lighthouse keepers protect historic treasures · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Florida Cabinet approves process to designate CAIR and others as domestic terrorist groups · via Florida Phoenix

WORLD Mozambique protects Mount Mabu ‘butterfly forest’ · via Mongabay

COURTS Lindsay Clancy case sheds light on maternal mental health crisis · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE CDC program is still focusing on care for 9/11 responders, survivors 25 years later · via Stateline

WORLD Infant daughter of Crimean woman imprisoned by Russia on treason charges dies · via Meduza

WHITE HOUSE Presidential Message on Rosh Hashanah · via White House

CULTURE Here’s how teachers and parents can collaborate and help Michigan’s 1.4M students succeed · via The Conversation

CULTURE How soybeans took over the American diet – without anyone noticing · via The Conversation

WORLD World Dolphin Day: Reporting unusual behavior, threats and increased protections · via Mongabay

CULTURE How diaspora groups in the US are responding to disasters in Nepal, Colombia, Venezuela and other homelands · via The Conversation

WHITE HOUSE Ciscomani, Mendoza spar over Trump’s spending law in CD6 debate · via Arizona Mirror

WORLD European Commission allows Ukraine to buy Patriot missiles with EU loan originally restricted to European-made weapons · via Meduza

WORLD Migratory bird species increasingly at risk, report finds, but there is still hope · via Mongabay

CULTURE Security clearances don’t determine whom a president can trust – they reveal risks the president may not know · via The Conversation

CULTURE Hormuz crisis has forced Japan into rethinking – and domesticating – its energy security needs · via The Conversation

CULTURE What the settlement left out: Meta can still collect data from kids · via The Conversation

CULTURE Why the Trump administration’s bid to end diversity efforts at nonprofit schools is likely to get tied up in court · via The Conversation

WORLD Ukrainian drones strike Russian chemical plant that produces materials used in explosives · via Meduza

CULTURE ‘The Uprising’ shows how medieval people weren’t so obedient after all · via The Conversation

WHITE HOUSE How the US House could overturn the midterm election results · via Michigan Advance

WORLD ‘Go home, man. You’re embarrassing.’ U.S. officials are reportedly eager for the CIA director to take over Russia–Ukraine talks from Witkoff. · via Meduza

COURTS A prelude to Nazification · via Courthouse News

CULTURE CDC vs. Pennsylvania: Why conflicting public health messages jeopardize public safety · via The Conversation

WORLD Russian strikes hit two Kyiv gas stations, one of them twice. Several killed and injured, including rescue worker. · via Meduza

WORLD Lack of data hinders fight against environmental crimes in Angola, says environmentalist · via Mongabay

WHITE HOUSE A quiet Pennsylvania field, 25 years after Flight 93 came down · via Arizona Mirror

WORLD Indigenous knowledge x tech in the search for a tiny Amazon monkey · via Mongabay

CULTURE Yonder Radio: Buffalo harvesting, small-town movie theaters, and story feasts. · via Daily Yonder

CULTURE Commentary: Permanent Daylight Saving Time Is Bad for Rural – and All – Americans · via Daily Yonder

WORLD Nigeria’s Rachel Ikemeh wins Rolex Award for efforts to save rare red monkey · via Mongabay

WHITE HOUSE Divorce becomes next battleground as states debate family values · via Stateline

WORLD Ukrainian drones strike multiple Russian regions, hitting Ozon warehouse and residential building. Casualties reported. · via Meduza

WORLD Can mining gold be sustainable? · via Mongabay

WORLD Sweden warns Russian disinformation is targeting upcoming European elections · via NV

COURTS Experts testify to discovery of three bodies in a well on Mexico beach · via Courthouse News

WORLD Kyrylo Budanov heads to Latvia to strengthen economic and military partnerships · via NV

WORLD Russian drone strike on Kyiv gas station injures four · via NV

TARIFFS Investing In Cryptocurrency: A Guide For Beginners In 2026 · via Forbes

WORLD Ex-PM Yulia Svyrydenko named head of KSE Business School · via NV

WORLD Ukraine confirms strikes on Admiral Essen frigate and two other Russian warships · via NV

WORLD Zelenskyy bets war inside Russia will force Putin to take peace talks seriously · via NV

WORLD Russia strikes U.S.-owned Oleina plant in central Dnipro · via NV

WHITE HOUSE The race to replace Charlie Kirk is being led by conservative women · via Newsweek

WORLD Russia seeks to lease aircraft from Vietnam after Ethiopia refused · via NV

WHITE HOUSE Republicans close out GOP midterm convention vowing to keep control of Congress · via Michigan Advance

WORLD SBU nabs suspected FSB hitman preparing assassination attempt on activist Druzenko · via NV

WHITE HOUSE Vance blasts Dem ‘crazies’ in convention speech seen as possible 2028 audition · via Michigan Advance

FACT CHECK Agricultural Diseases And Pests: Nationwide Assessment and Strategy Needed to Enhance the Climate Resilience of Farms and Forests · via GAO

WORLD NATO allies foil Russian operation preparing sabotage against subsea cables · via NV

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