VOL. I · NO. 8592WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 20265¢

THE EDITION

Wednesday, September 9, 2026

109 stories filed by the Buffoon Desk.

WORLD How to Write Better Rules for Global Finance · via Foreign Policy

WORLD Former Georgian Prosecutor General forms, leads unit in Russia to fight against Ukraine · via NV

WORLD The World’s Only Real Hope of Maintaining Order · via Foreign Policy

WHITE HOUSE 'Utterly Disgraceful': Trump Sparks Outrage For Rant About 9/11 Hero · via HuffPost

WORLD Overnight Russian drone strike hits apartment building in Kharkiv · via NV

WORLD Operation Carthage explained: Key figures, allegations and $2 million case · via NV

COURTS Judge says former San Francisco real estate investor may be released from pretrial custody · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Jay Feely leans into Trump as swing-seat Republicans back away · via Arizona Mirror

WORLD Introducing the Fall 2026 Print Issue · via Foreign Policy

WHITE HOUSE ‘It Sounds Insane…’: James Carville Has A Wild Theory About Trump’s Midterm Endgame · via HuffPost

WORLD Ukraine strikes Novorossiysk naval base, destroys Russian missile carriers · via NV

COURTS Supreme Court crisis spills into Brazil’s presidential race · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE ‘What The F**k?’: Jon Stewart Hits Trump With Reminder Of 1 Glaring Health Problem · via HuffPost

WHITE HOUSE Jimmy Kimmel Taunts ‘Crazier Than Ever’ Trump With 1 Vicious Reality Check · via HuffPost

COURTS River pollution threatens health of protected coral reef · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE States to SCOTUS: Trump’s mail-voting rule would ‘wreak havoc’ this fall and disenfranchise millions · via Arizona Mirror

WORLD German Democracy, as We Knew It, Is Over · via Foreign Policy

WORLD ISW: Putin used Trump call to push distorted battlefield picture on Ukraine · via NV

CULTURE U.S. Open Stunner: American Ben Shelton Dethrones Carlos Alcaraz · via HuffPost

COURTS Surrogate who had baby against parents’ wishes pulls Supreme Court into high-profile custody fight · via Courthouse News

COURTS Conservationists sue over Endangered Species Act designation for pond turtles · via Courthouse News

COURTS Appeals court has 99 problems with Jay-Z’s extortion lawsuit against attorney · via Courthouse News

COURTS Ex-federal employee gets 6 years for bribery scheme tied to millions in defense contracts · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE First Lady Melania Trump’s Personal Vision to Preserve America’s Story Through Superior Design · via White House

WORLD Ukraine worker demand drops amid intensified Russian strikes · via NV

WHITE HOUSE Ex-GOP Strategist Spots The ‘Trap’ For Republicans At Trump’s Midterm Convention · via HuffPost

WORLD Two wild Przewalski’s horse foals born in Kazakhstan after 200 years · via Mongabay

WHITE HOUSE Patriot Day 2026, The 25th Anniversary of the September 11 Terrorist Attacks · via White House

COURTS Missouri redistricting challengers return to SCOTUS in latest twist over GOP maps · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Trump seeks to remake the census by dropping noncitizens and race questions · via Arizona Mirror

COURTS Black man who killed in self-defense fights to make wrongful prosecution claims stick · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Ansari makes surprise visit to Phoenix ICE facility after Mirror report · via Arizona Mirror

WHITE HOUSE States sue feds over endangered species rollbacks · via Stateline

FACT CHECK Ohio Democratic Ads Connect Husted to Bribery Scandal, Despite No Charges of Wrongdoing · via FactCheck.org

COURTS Club Q shooting victims can’t sue for wrongful death, 10th Circuit finds · via Courthouse News

COURTS Yurok village dispute · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE After backlash, Whitmer says EGLE must consider Michigan Supreme Court ruling on Line 5 permits · via Michigan Advance

COURTS NYC grocers sue city over subsidized municipal grocery stores plan · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE President Trump Delivers Historic Results for the American People in Under Two Years · via White House

COURTS California hospitals get shot at shattering spending ceiling · via Courthouse News

COURTS Clorox customer brings class action over contaminated household cleaners · via Courthouse News

COURTS Fifth Circuit questions Louisiana’s renewed attempt to block abortion pill mailing · via Courthouse News

WORLD Nepal’s high-altitude wildernesses & wildlife are increasingly under threat (commentary) · via Mongabay

COURTS First Circuit unlikely to stop Trump plan for logging near Appalachian Trail · via Courthouse News

COURTS Attorneys general sue over changes to Endangered Species Act · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Angie Nixon says there are ‘$10 million reasons’ to oppose Ashley Moody · via Florida Phoenix

WORLD How to enhance ocean health and resilience with marine rewilding · via Mongabay

COURTS Huawei rebuts criminal charges at trial over trade secrets, Iranian sanctions · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Donalds, Luna to speak at ‘multi-millionaire-palooza’ in Dallas Wednesday · via Florida Phoenix

WORLD Indigenous land back in Chile brings mixed bag of environmental outcomes: Study · via Mongabay

COURTS Minnesota, Trump administration clash over future of immigration surge suit · via Courthouse News

WORLD When climate-related hazards rise, so do barriers for people with disabilities · via Mongabay

COURTS TikTok tries to dodge ‘addictive’ design claims in North Carolina · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Michigan Department of Corrections to add over 800 high-security beds, 30 accessible rooms · via Michigan Advance

WORLD Kashmir’s water bodies have declined for decades. Is conservation keeping pace? · via Mongabay

COURTS Fourteen men go on trial for Channel crossing that left 31 migrants dead · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Salvadorans await word on protected status as midnight deadline approaches · via Michigan Advance

WHITE HOUSE Doctors ask state for hearing on new proposed vaccine rule · via Florida Phoenix

WORLD In North Carolina, a race is on to restore critical peatland before it dries up or is destroyed · via Mongabay

COURTS First Circuit puzzled by challenge to Massachusetts handgun ban · via Courthouse News

COURTS Norway king’s funeral opens uncertain chapter for monarchy · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Commentary: Remembering Flight 93 through the lens of healing · via Stateline

COURTS Hungary wanted a vote on Ukraine arms funding; EU judges won’t weigh in · via Courthouse News

WHITE HOUSE Canada aims its tariffs at battleground states as Republican candidates defend Trump and jobs · via Arizona Mirror

FACT CHECK DOD Installation Services: Action Needed to Improve Oversight of Intergovernmental Support Agreements · via GAO

WORLD Caribbean scientists document uncharted deep-sea waters in Trinidad and Tobago · via Mongabay

COURTS Warning about ‘civilizational stakes’ of AI arms race refreshes calls for industry regulations · via Courthouse News

WORLD Ukrainian drones strike Russia’s key gas-producing region for the first time — 2,800 kilometers from Ukraine · via Meduza

WORLD New Zealand put fishing boats under camera surveillance. Will it stay the course? · via Mongabay

COURTS Former Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich loses another EU sanctions fight · via Courthouse News

CULTURE Space weather can cause both beautiful auroras and infrastructure challenges – 5 essential reads on protecting life and technology · via The Conversation

CULTURE American women in communities with ample broadband access lose less time waiting for services, reducing time poverty · via The Conversation

CULTURE People with Tourette syndrome, like Billie Eilish, use everything in their power to suppress tics – this exhausting process is key to treatment · via The Conversation

CULTURE The Women’s Professional Baseball League is betting that women’s baseball has a future in the US · via The Conversation

CULTURE ‘Fountain’ might make you laugh or scowl but asks important questions – a Philly art historian explains why Marcel Duchamp’s iconic 1917 sculpture still provokes · via The Conversation

CULTURE A second hurricane just sideswiped Hawaii – why the islands’ usual force field seems to be down in 2026 · via The Conversation

CULTURE Pennsylvania is suing TikTok over ‘addictive’ features – a policy expert explains why it’s messier than that sounds · via The Conversation

WORLD Rubio says ‘roadmap’ for renewed Russia–Ukraine talks could emerge within weeks · via Meduza

CULTURE A journalist coined ‘the Bible Belt’ 100 years ago – it’s been oversimplifying the South ever since · via The Conversation

WORLD Russia’s trade ministry says not all marketplace warehouses damaged in Ukrainian drone strikes need to be rebuilt · via Meduza

WORLD 22-year-old Russian conscript sent to war despite suicide attempt. He went missing after an assault operation and was later declared dead. · via Meduza

WHITE HOUSE Michigan rabbis push El-Sayed to change rhetoric on Israel, ensure safety of Jewish community · via Michigan Advance

WORLD ‘Kyiv is gasping for breath’: Russia’s escalating attacks are upending daily life in the Ukrainian capital. Here’s how residents are coping. · via Meduza

CULTURE Did You Know Thousands of Tarantulas Trek Across Colorado Each Year? · via Daily Yonder

CULTURE Most Data Center Bans Are in Metro Areas, Despite More Facilities Heading for Rural Areas · via Daily Yonder

WORLD Vantara works with lobbyist tied to Trump Jr. and pro-hunting groups · via Mongabay

WORLD Wendell Berry’s life on Earth · via Grist

WORLD Georgia bet big on EV manufacturing. Trump pulled the plug. · via Grist

WHITE HOUSE Trump’s Canadian trade war stirs up trouble for Republican candidates · via Stateline

WORLD Ukrainian drone attack on Russian port city kills four. Fire reported at port. · via Meduza

WORLD Russian drones strike Kyiv, damaging 24-story apartment building and injuring five · via Meduza

WORLD German foreign minister proposes sharing data on military-age Ukrainian men living in Germany with Kyiv · via Meduza

WORLD Colombia’s Indigenous guardians adapt as pressures mount on the ‘Heart of the World’ · via Mongabay

WORLD Russian drone strike hits Ukrainian checkpoint on border with Moldova, killing two · via Meduza

WORLD Rescuers scramble to save orangutans as El Niño-boosted fires spread across Borneo · via Mongabay

WORLD Palisa, Budanov, and Drapatyi brief Witkoff and Kushner on Russia's plans · via NV

WORLD Colorful Himalayan pheasants face a less rosy future under human pressure · via Mongabay

WORLD A Country Is Taking Aim At Social Media Algorithms With A Potentially Huge New Law · via HuffPost

WORLD France says it can't confirm new Putin territorial demands · via NV

WORLD To save Europe’s raptors, conservationists say, look to West Africa · via Mongabay

WORLD Russian drones strike Kyiv-Sumy passenger train twice after passengers evacuated · via NV

WORLD Cancer cases are set to surge by 2050—nearly half may be preventable · via Newsweek

CULTURE Blurred Lips Are Trending, And One Of Our Holy Grail Lipsticks Is Perfect For The Moment · via HuffPost

WORLD Zelenskyy meets Arakhamia and Kravchenko to discuss Prosecutor General’s possible resignation · via NV

WHITE HOUSE Harry Enten Spots Stunning Trump Shift: ‘It Is Not A Happy Labor Day’ For The President · via HuffPost

WORLD Far-right Czech lawmaker calls for halting welfare payments to Ukrainian refugees · via NV

WHITE HOUSE Ex-GOP Congressman Wonders If Trump Is Deliberately Sabotaging His Own Party · via HuffPost

WORLD Ukraine FM Sybiha urges allies to release stockpiled interceptors · via NV

COURTS Federal judge squashes Kalshi bid to block prediction market regulation by Iowa · via Courthouse News

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